Sorting Through the Pieces of Another Broken Dream

25 Apr

Crumble, crumble, crumble,

There goes another dream.

I let go for love.

I let go for me.

I am devastated.  I feel crushed.  I want to let go and let God.  I want to see the positive.  I want to be at peace.  I want to be okay.  I want to be happy.  But I am tired.  I feel beaten.  I feel despair.  I feel lost and cannot find the strength to move forward.  I just sit here and stare into space.  I don’t know what to do anymore.  I don’t know what to think anymore.  I don’t understand.  Maybe if I could understand I could let go completely.  Maybe if I knew how this could happen, I could be okay again.  I don’t understand.  What’s the point of dreaming if the dreams are going to be taken away?  Why did I spend all my time and energy envisioning my dream as reality when it could be destroyed in one instant?  Why does it seem that my dreams are being crushed one by one?  It was real to me and then it was all gone.  In seconds, it was all gone.

****

As a believer, I understand the importance of letting go and surrendering.  I may understand it in theory but in practicality it takes longer to accept and implement.  As a believer, I believe everything works out as it is meant to; however, there are moments where I wonder if it really will.  I may sit in despair knowing it would be wiser to think positive but the moment overwhelms me and I succumb to it.  I may be able to see the light but I am not ready for it.  I have the tools to get through this, prayers, affirmations, funny movies, but I also have every right to feel the way I feel.  I believe…but don’t ask me to tell you what I believe while I am sorting through the pieces of my broken dream.

“Let me sit here and grieve.
Don’t rush me or tell
me what to do.  If you
want to help me, please just
sit here with me and let me be.”

.

H. Hassenbein

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2 Responses to “Sorting Through the Pieces of Another Broken Dream”

  1. xan May 30, 2011 at 10:15 am #

    Feel like this most times. For a moment I tut its was my post:D lol

    • HH May 30, 2011 at 4:38 pm #

      ha ha ha…Thanks for the coming by, reading, commenting, and for making me laugh. Always good to connect with those who know. Good journey! =-)

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