Searching to Believe in Something Once Again

28 Jun

It was cold and silent and she was alone.  The storm had swallowed the part of her that ignited her life.  Shadows surrounded her but she was not afraid.  She knew the darkness well because it never really left her.  It was always hiding waiting to spring up at any moment to envelope her once again.  As much as she wanted to run back into the light, she eased into obscurity.  Fighting it was pointless.

The darkness was too big to fend off this time.  It had the upper hand and its devastation left broken pieces scattered as far as her eyes could see.  She did not know where to begin again or how she would put them all back together.  She clawed at the pieces desperate to understand why this had happened but making sense of the senseless is like battling an enemy you cannot see.  Years of building something purposeful was obliterated in seconds.

She no longer knew what to believe.  Questions overflowed her mind: Why did this happen?  Did I do something wrong?  Did I misunderstand the signs?  Did I veer off my path?  Was I right about anything?  What am I supposed to do now?

The answers could not be deciphered.  All the broken pieces were left untouched where they dropped.  The part of her that could easily carry on was tired and dispirited.  She could not bear to look at what she lost one second longer.  Her heart was in that chaos and she did not know how to save it.

She did not want to give up so she set out to find hope and faith.  Surely, they could help her believe once again.

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H. Hassenbein

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