Go Out and Find Your Own Happiness

26 Dec

Many people say that true happiness lies within but I do not think that statement is entirely accurate.  I have looked and looked and looked.  I have searched beneath the rubble of heartache, through the debris of despair, and down into the depths of my tears.  Happiness was nowhere to be found.

Whatever helped me to become happy, once upon a time, has since gone.  It has been gone so long that I do not recollect what it was.  It seems like happiness crept away in the middle of the night as I was dreaming away.

I kept torturing myself, even blaming myself, because I could not find my happiness.  All the experts say you cannot find happiness outside of yourself if at first you don’t have it within.  I think they say the same thing about love.  They say that about a lot of things.  I have come to think they say a lot of things because they know so little.  That’s what people do when they don’t know; they talk incessantly as to appear enlightened.  They talk not realizing that half of what they say makes little sense.  I believe it is more enlightened to say I don’t know.  At least that response is honest and embraces humility.

What are the qualifications to become an expert on happiness anyway?  Or even life?  Say someone learns something new, accepts it without question, and then speaks of it as the ultimate truth and encourages others to do the same.  Is that not senseless?  I feel there is too much generalizing of concepts going on in the self-improvement sphere.  The individual’s needs are getting lost.

I have concluded that their way is not the only way.  It may work for them and some others but it does not work for me.  And what is right for everyone else doesn’t necessarily make it right for me.  I must find my way by finding a path of my own.  The first thing I have decided it is to disregard the idea of a quintessential fairytale happy ending.  Instead, I have decided it is best to focus on a happy beginning.

As far as happiness is concerned, well, at this point I believe we go out and find what makes us happy.  We find the “thing” we are looking for and then it is no longer a “thing.”  It becomes an entity all its own which is filled with life.   We breathe love into it and what we find becomes a part of us.  Happiness then fills us up and resides within our hearts.

I am not an expert but I am an expert on me and this feels good to me.  So, I say venture outside yourself and find what makes you happy.  And when you find it, keep it close to your heart so happiness becomes you.  And then, happiness really will lie within you for as long as you allow it to stay or until it is time to move on.

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